Margaux’s Story: A Gymnast Finally Speaks Out

So I really didn’t think I would end up doing this and was honestly ready take it all to my grave but because of recent events I have decided to speak up about my experience as an elite gymnast and the bullying as well as verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse I was either subjected to or have witnessed when I was younger.

 I am done being scared of people and an environment I haven’t been around in 9 years. I’m not 8 years old anymore, and I will not me intimidated or bullied into staying silent.

Just a note that I don’t want to take away anyone’s positive experience as a gymnast at the same club I will be talking about and I’m glad that many are able to remember it in such a positive manner. However if you wish to talk about your positive experience please don’t do it to the detriment of others who may feel too intimated to share their story. Unfortunately this was not the case for a lot of us at Heathrow Gymnastics Club.

I will start off by saying that it is important to remember that I consider myself one of the lucky ones and was even considered as being a “favourite”, which means that I was treated better than most which I think already says a lot.

As others have said it was truly a “culture of fear”, it wasn’t just demanding and tough because of the sport. Girls who were more successful (which usually meant on national or international teams) were treated better than others.

Bullying and belittling was constant and happened throughout the club from those at a beginner level to the elite.

I’ve witnessed girls beings shamed, called fat, ugly, stupid, dragged across floors by their hair, picked up by the leotard and thrown to the floor, forced to train while injured and in pain, screamed at for not picking up choreography quick enough, and the list unfortunately goes on.

As for my experience, the obvious forced stretching to tears is something that was considered normal, I was screamed at so many times for unimportant things like forgetting to wear a choker once during an Xmas display performance, also had to rush out the door at the end of another night because I messed up my double back off bars and needed to leave before one of the club directors could scream at me like he did with anyone else who messed up.

I was also weighed once before and after going after on holiday and shouted at because I had put on 1kg, bearing in mind I was incredibly small and skinny at the time.

I also ended moving up squads quite quickly throughout my years there and basically ended up in the elite squad at age 8.

Unfortunately I was bullied by other coaches who had previously coached me and was called a “spoilt brat” and a “diva” by them because I was treated more favourably than other gymnasts as I was in the national squad at that time.

The biggest event for me, was a particularly bad training session with 2 coaches. It was not my day, I kept falling on bars and couldn’t get it right, instead of making me move on and letting it go, the coach kept me on bars for 3 hours, and forced me to repeat the same skill again and again until I got it right, unfortunately at some point my shoulder had enough and gave way. Instead of letting my parents know, my injury was hidden and I was sent to see the club physio without my parents being aware. We were then told to go and see a private physio instead of claiming it through BG insurance and we followed their request because we didn’t know any better at the time. The injury was then not taken seriously by many coaches who accused me of exaggerating so it got worse. At some points I was in tears because I was in such pain and was still forced to perform my routines. Today, I still have to live with this injury and will have it for the rest of my life. Every time I see a physio, they are shocked at how I have such an injury at my age (I was 9 at the time and this is still the case at 19).

Shortly after that I left the club and went to train with one of my previous coaches. I was then shunned by the coaches and the friends I had trained with for so many years, who were banned from talking to me.

Unfortunately, even having left, I was still not done with these people. I was then penalised at national competitions by judges who had close ties to the gym.

Today, nearly 9 years later, I still get anxiety if I drive anywhere near that gym and have even had nightmares about some particular people.

I didn’t recognise that what I endured was abuse until recently because it was conditioned into us that this behaviour was completely normal from a very young age.

I also know that I have repressed a lot of it.

So many of us were mistreated, some of them have even contacted me in the past few days to voice support and some people are still scared of speaking out against these people today, some even from more than 20 years ago.

This behaviour is not new and has not stopped since I left. Recently an 11 year old gymnast came to one of the clubs I work at, she was in the same elite squad and shared that she was very much treated the same why many of us had when I was there. Another gymnast who came from rec was so bullied that it took her months for her to open up to us and you could see how much her self-esteem had been crushed during her time there.

Hopefully talking about my story will help others come to terms and maybe motivate them to talk about it if they are ready to do so but also completely understand that some people would rather forget, which I honestly wish I could.

I have also already been contacted by a journalist who is doing a story on BG and emotional abuse in gymnastics and who I will be sharing my story to. She is happy for me to share her contact details to anyone ready to share theirs.

We need to make sure that this type of coaching stops in gymnastics but also in every other sport because it is so destructive to everyone who was subjected to it.

Please feel free to screenshot and share, message me if you would like to talk or have any questions.

Thank you all for listening and hope you’re all doing well x

#gymnastalliance

Margaux’s original Facebook post